How it Falls Apart
by lifeluver
Summary: After the school shooting Lucas must help his mother, but is she too far gone? What will happen to Lucas? Brucas, a little Naley.
1. Chapter 1

Brooke and Lucas were cuddled on the couch in Brooke's apartment. They hadn't had many moments of peace since the shooting, and it had taken a great deal of effort to convince Luke to leave his mom that day, but Brooke felt like she really had to get through to him, and if she didn't soon, she may never.

"We need to talk baby," she informed him after a long silence.

"Sure, what is it?" he asked, muting the T.V..

"It's about your mom," Brooke began, but was cut off by a sharp intake of breath by her boyfriend. He hated talking about Karen. He knew his mother was depressed, but she would get over it. Lucas could take care of her himself. After all, she had just lost her fiance, she was bound to be depressed.

"Look, Brooke, I love you, but can we not talk about this now?" Luke begged.

"Then when will we talk about it?" Brooke said, her voice rising as her emotions got the best of her. "Your mom is not doing well and you refuse to believe it! I know you love her, but you have to let her get help! She hasn't left her bed since the funeral, all she does is drink and cry!"

"Shut up Brooke! You don't know what goes on in my house, and I would appreciate it if you stopped pretending that you did! I know my mother best, not you, not anyone! She'll be fine, she just needs some time!"

Truth was, Lucas had tried to talk his mother into getting out of bed, because deep down, he knew something wasn't right, and the empty vodka bottles in their recycling bin were only reinforcing that fact in his mind, but all he had gotten was his mothers blame for everything that had happened to Keith. That happened everytime he spoke to his mother, and it had become easier just to put on the show that everything was fine, because it hurt too much to talk about anything.

"Time? Time? Luke it's been 3 weeks! And I, not to mention Nathan, Haley and Peyton, all think it's time you went to a professional for this!"

Brooke was flat-out sobbing now. She had known this conversation was going to be hard, but she hadn't imagined it to feel this awful.

Lucas stood up angirly and grabbed his coat. "I don't need this. I thought you getting me out today was to get me away from my problems, not ambush me with them. Bye Brooke," he said angirly and slammed the door shut as hard as he could, but could still hear Brooke's muffled sobs.

He leaned against the door and fell slowly to the floor, burying his head in his hands. Why couldn't he help his mother? He was 17, he should be able to take care of his mother for a while! But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make her pain go away, and every time he saw her, the pain in his own heart seemed to multiply. He needed to go home and check on her, Luke reasoned with himself, and dragged himself slowly to his feet, trying to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

_Brooke listened desperately at the door, hoping Lucas would come back in, hug her, and they would make up and he would agree to get his mother help. God she wished it, but she couldn't make it happen. This just make her cry harder. She was so scared for Karen, and even more so for Lucas._

_It wasn't fair! He was 17, he shouldn't be responsible for his mother! But Karen needed someone taking care of her all the time, because if Lucas wasn't there she always managed to get herself into some kind of trouble._

_Like the week before when Lucas had been at a basketball game._

_FLASHBACK_

"_Bye Luke, call me!" Brooke called from the car where her and Nathan and Haley were watching their friend go inside._

_Lucas had opened the door to find a complete mess. Broken liqour bottles were scattered around the floor of the kitchen and his mother was holding a 3/4 empty one in her hands sitting on the ground under the cabinet, crying silently. Lucas stared at the sight for a moment, trying to process what he was seeing. _

_Finally, he walked slowly towards his mothers and said, in voice full of feigned calmness, "Mom, give me the bottle." "No!" she shreieked yanking it away from his grasp. "It's mine!"_

_"Come on mom," Lucas whispered, "you're better than this. You can get through this."_

_"No, I can't! Keith was better than this! Keith could've gotten me through this! But he isn' t here, is he! And it's you're fault! I hate you for taking him away."_

_Lucas' eyes filled with hurt, but his hand reached yet again for thebottle trying to pry it from his mothers grip. "No!" Karen scremed yet again, and backhanded him across the jaw with her free hand. Lucas staggered backwards from his spot on the floor, in shock. Karen tried to stand up, but dizzyness engulfed her, and she knew no more as Lucas caught her carefully before her head hit the floor._

_Slowly, Lucas lifted his mother in his arms and carried her silently to her bedroom, lying her in her bed, as small tears escaped his eyes. He watched her for a few hours before going to clean up the mess in the kithcen. Brooke, Nathan and Haley stood in the doorway for several long minutes after Lucas had exited it, unaware of their prescence. Their faces showed shock and revulsion at what the woman they thought they had known had just done._

_ In silence they exited, blinking back tears, unsure of what to do to help their friend. Brooke dropped his bag, which he had forgotten in the car, on the chair as she left, and took one last look and the kitchen before closing her eyes and regaining her composure._

_END FLASHBACK_

Brooke had always had nothing but respect for Karen, but that all changed that night. She understood the woman was grieving, but that was just cruel to do to her only son. Often, Brooke wished she had something that night, not having been shocked into silence. But it seemed there was nothing to say. If it had been possible to comfort him that night, Brooke did

Instead, the next day, Nathan, Haley, and Brooke filled Peyton is as best they could and tried to think of what to do next. This had been the first plan, and it was obvious to Brooke that Plan A had not worked.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- **Okay, thanks for the reviews people! I appreciate them! I thought I should give a bit more of a background this time, so here it goes. Nothing past 3-16 has happened. Brooke and Haley are still living together, and obviously Lucas and Nathan have made up. I'm pretty sure Lucas won't have HCM in this fic, but that may change later. I'll let you know.

Chapter 2

As Lucas opened the door he winced on reflex. He knew it wasn't right to feel scared upon entering his own home, but that was how he felt. He realized sometime in the past few weeks that he was actually afraid of his mother. Of her mood swings, of her wrath. Of what she might do one day if Lucas wasn't there to stop her.

Thankfully Karen was fast asleep in her bed. Sighing, Lucas went to his own room and pulled out his books. He made to begin his homework, only to find the paper slipping in and out of focus as his eyes blurred. Tears he was barely aware of holding in trickled out as every word Brooke had said that day processed in his mind. And the truth behind them.

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Brooke lay on the couch, trying to fight back the tears that kept coming. She loved Lucas more than anything, and hated to see him like this. It hurt her to know that he didn't feel like he could confide in her, and all Brooke really wanted was to make his pain go away.

Sadly, she stole a glance at the phone that was sitting on the table next to her, perched over the opened phone book. What she was considering would undoubtedly make Lucas hate her, but a small, naive part of her brain thought he would forgive her in time, and realize it really was the right decision.

Haley was on her way home, and she had agreed with Brooke on this decision, though admittedly rather hesitantly. In the end she understood it was for the best, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling of betrayal towards Karen, the woman who was almost like a mother to her as well as her best friend.

Haley sighed when she opened the door and saw Brooke contemplating the phone. She walked over to her and put her hands on Brooke's back, in a reassuring gesture as Brooke dialed the number slowly.

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The next morning Lucas woke up early, knowing what he had to do. He had to apologize to Brooke, he was wrong to take all his frustration out on her. All he could do was hope she forgave him.

Before he left the house he checked on his mother, to make sure she was sleeping soundly. As he opened the door he experienced the split second of uncertainty, when he worried he would see something that would change his life. Luckily, his mother was wrapped comfortably in her blankets as she always was. Finally leaving the house, he considered all possible ways of saying he was sorry to Brooke, and only just decided on the best one as he pulled up to school.

Nathan was retrieving some books from his locker when Haley walked up to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Hey Nate, what's up?"

"Nothing much, you?" he responded, feeling his day had gotten a whole lot brighter from the moment his wife entered it.

Haley sighed, there was a lot going on with her. "Brooke made the call. It didn't go so well talking him into it, so she did it herself."

Nathan pulled himself away from his own thoughts and now concentrated fully on what Haley was saying. "Are things okay between them? Brooke and Luke I mean," Nathan clarified, praying to God that his brother hadn't done something stupid. In this time of his life, it seemed Brooke was the only thing holding Luke together.

"Um, I guess so. It was just one fight. Oh, there she is," Haley said, realizing she hadn't actually thought about Lucas breaking up with Brooke over this. She was pretty sure he hadn't the day before, but it dawned on her that he might after he found out what she had done.

"Hey guys!" Brooke said cheerfully as she approached her friends. "What're you all talking about?"

They were spared responding by the arrival of Lucas at his locker next to them. "Hey," he said shortly, dropping his bag in his locker. As he shut his the door he turned to Brooke and said quieter, "Can we talk? Alone?"

Brooke felt her face heating up, and she became nervous. Could he possibly already know? Did they do things that fast? What was he going to do? "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday," Lucas began.

Okay, Brooke thought, I guess he doesn't know yet. "It was wrong to take everything out on you. Forgive me?" He asked, flashing her a puppy dog look. Brooke never could resist those baby blues.

"Of course!" she said immediately, and she felt herself wrapped up in a passionate kiss. As they walked hand in hand down the hallway, she could only hope he would be as forgiving.

Lucas drove home after basketball practice exhausted. When he pulled into his own driveway he saw an unfamiliar car parked outside the house. It looked expensive, he noted, definitely not someone's from this neighborhood.

He fished his key out from his pocket, and opened his front door curiously, to be greeted by a shocking sight. There was his mother, sitting on the love seat, drinking some coffee. Her hair was a mess, and she was still in her nightgown. Across from her sat a well dressed woman in her mid 40's, wearing a navy blue suit and a briefcase sitting beside her. She seemed to have pushed the mess of papers and books out of the way to craft a small sitting area in the couch.

This couldn't mean anything good, Luke thought. What would a woman like that want with his family? Especially his mother. And could Karen at least make an effort to look suitable? I mean there were empty beer bottles still scattered around the kitchen in plain view. Which, come to think of it, didn't make much sense because he had thrown every trace of alcohol out a few days before.

"And you must be Lucas!" exclaimed the strange woman in a falsely cheery voice. Choosing not to answer her, he dropped his bag and sat down as far from her as possible on the messy couch.

The woman continued in a more serious voice, "I'm Joan, from the department of child services. We received a phone call yesterday that some things here might not be going so smoothly, so I was sent to check up on you. I've been talking to your mother about her lifestyle, and hows she's been coping through--everything."

Brooke. Brooke. Brooke did this. After they made up! After he had promised everything was okay! Lucas couldn't believe her. This woman, Joan, was no sitting in his house, observing his life, and no doubt going to deem his mother incapable of taking care of him! And who wouldn't? Seeing this woman! Lucas tried to block Joan's incessant droning out. What right did she have to barge in here and judge his mother.

Lucas glanced at Karen, curious to see how she was taking this. She didn't seem angry, or upset at what was happening. Instead, her eyes seemed strangely glazed, and didn't seem to care about anything that was being said. Turning back towards Joan, he realized that she still hadn't shut up. Apparently she had exhausted all topics with his mother, and now wanted to do some evaluation on him. Well that wasn't happening!

"I'm sorry," Lucas said in his most polite voice. "Could this be done another time? I have to got to, um, basketball practice," he said, gesturing down at his sports bag. If this woman had any sense she would know he was lying, after all, what school had practice at 6:30, when it was freakin dark outside?

But instead, Joan nodded understandingly, and began filling out some strange paper. Bending over to try and see what it was, Lucas realized it was an appointment card. For a shrink. Him and his mother. For the next afternoon. Joan must've cleared this with his unresponsive mother earlier. She also left her buisness card with him, but Lucas wasn't listening to a word she was saying. It was just a load of shit.

After a little longer standing expectantly at the doorway the social services woman finally left, and Lucas shut the door hurriedly behind her before turning to face his mother. Karen continued to stand there, gazing into her coffee. There were no words of encouragement, no promises that everything would be okay. Instead she stood up and walked wordlessly back into her room, leaving her son to put the coffee cup away.

Lucas stared after here, anger pulsing through his veins, magnifying by the second. All he could think was how his girlfriend had done this. Disrespected his wishes. Betrayed him. Finally he grabbed his keys and ran into the cold air without a jacket.

The buzzer in Brooke's apartment rang 4 times straight after each other. Confused Brooke left Haley watching t.v. on the couch to see her boyfriend standing angrily in the doorway. Okay, she thought, this time he knew.

"What did you do Brooke?" he asked, the anger evident in his shaking voice.

"Look, Luke, before you get mad, I was just trying to help."

"Before I get mad? Before I got mad would be before I got home to see some fucking social service woman talking to my mother! Before I got mad would be before she started writing out some appointment that I am NOT going to! I don't need some shrink to tell me that my mom's depressed!" Lucas shouted angrily, not caring that there were other people in neighboring apartments that could hear him perfectly.

Shit, Haley thought, standing up and turning off the t.v.. Not that it was possible to hear it over her best friends shouting.

"I'm sorry!" Brooke screamed over him. "I'm sorry that you're angry, and I'm sorry that your mom is such a wreck!" Lowering her voice a bit, she added, "But I am not sorry I made that call. Because all they want is to help." Brooke looked up at him with pleading eyes. She was pleading, not for forgiveness, but for understanding. She was disappointed.

"How could you do this to me?" Luke asked, in a voice barely over a whisper. "To my family? What if they take her away?" He met her eyes, and saw tears filling them. Then he turned around and left Brooke alone, yet again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- **Okay, this was quick to write, so I thought I'd post it today. Enjoy! Oh, btw, I not sure about the rating, so tell me if you think I should change it.

Chapter 3

Karen sat alone in her bed, staring at the razor blade next to her. She didn't feel capable of fear anymore. On top of all her grief and anger, she now felt guilt. For once, she was sober, and could understand what she was doing to her son. He had changed, he had built an emotional wall between himself and everyone, and felt he had to be watching her every moment.

Lucas was sacrificing everything to keep her safe, and she couldn't stand that. He would be better off without his mother as a constant worry, Karen consoled herself. What she was doing, was all to help her son, she reminded herself. He had to move on, and there was no way he could do that with her presence.

Though she tried to convince herself that this was for Lucas, Karen knew deep down she was being selfish. She thought that once she was dead, she could see Keith again. All the pain on the living world would evaporate, and she would be free.

The social service woman had been the last straw. If Karen was going to leave this earth, and her son, it would be on her own terms. She wasn't going to let them lock her up and force her to endure the pain alone.

Sighing, she walked towards the kitchen and looked for some vodka. There was no way she could do this sober.

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He had done it again, Lucas thought. Pushed Brooke away, but this time she had it coming. She had no right to do what she did. Lucas was so preoccupied with his thoughts when he opened the door to his house, he forgot to be afraid.

In hindsight, he wished he had been afraid.

**A/N** Yes, I know it's short, but it's two updates in one day anyway. Hope you

like, tell me if I should continue! And the next update will be longer, I

just couldn't think of any other way to end this chapter. Please review!

-kt


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When the door to the house was opened, Lucas actually stepped back in shock. The room was completely rampaged. The couch was pushed over, and there was glass strewn about on the floor.

Shit, he thought. "Mom? Mom, where are you?" he shouted, frantic worry edging into his voice. He ran towards the kitchen, but it was empty. Of his mother and of the liquor. Next he tried Karen's bedroom, where all the lights were out. "Mom!" It was empty, but he could see a faint light coming from the bathroom.

Knocking on the door frantically, he heard no response. He shouted again for his mother and tried the knob, but it was locked. Finally he kicked the door as hard as he could, and it sprang open.

Eyes widening, Lucas stumbled backwards. "M-m-mom?" he whispered in shock. There was his mother was, arms covered in blood, and frighteningly pale. He crawled forward and put his fingers on Karen's neck, he could feel a faint pulse.

His arms groped behind him, searching desperately for the phone, all the while not daring to take his eyes off his mothers body. Lucas' arms collided with something hard; the bedside table. Reaching upwards, his hand clamped on to the portable phone.

Fingers shaking, he managed to dial 911, and check his mother's pulse again. Still there. He ran his hands down his mothers arms, inadvertently getting soaked in blood. Lucas was in a state of complete shock.

"911 how can I help you?" said a woman on the other end. "I need an ambulance, my mother, she, she," he struggled to get the evil words out, "she slit her wrists." In a daze, he told the woman his address and they promised to get the ambulance there in a couple minutes.

He put his fingers back on Karen's neck and left them there, he refused to let her pulse die. The higher part of his brain didn't seem to have processed what had happened, his mind was a complete blank. Everything he knew seemed to have been wiped out, and replaced by the haunting vision of his mother lying on the floor, dying. Tears leaked out without his noticing, and the ambulance crew ran in.

Then men pulled his mother onto the stretcher, and one led him outside.

"Do you want to come into the ambulance?" he asked, trying to be nice to the shocked boy. The EMT felt bad for him, he didn't look older than 17 or 18, way too young to have to see this.

The majority of his brain was screaming no, he didn't want to come into the fucking ambulance and watch his mother's life slip away, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. So instead he climbed silently into the ambulance.

He knew the EMTs were talking, yelling, but nothing made sense. It was all just a blur. He was also pretty sure at least one was trying to get his attention, but it all seemed so far way. They were circling around his mother, all denying the one and only thing Lucas knew for sure then.

His mother was going to die.

When they reached the hospital he was escorted to the waiting room, where he sat down. He still hadn't said a word. All he could think about was the picture of his mother, the blood. Her still form. He felt his stomach convulsing violently, and he ran towards the bathroom. Through the tears and throwing up, he could still see her. He wanted it all to go away, why wasn't this going away?

Fishing in his pocket Lucas pulled out his cell and dialed Haley's number. "Hales" he said in a hoarse whisper.

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Nathan, Brooke, and Haley were all in the apartment when Haley's cell went off.

"Hello?" she answered. "Lucas? What the-" Nathan and Brooke turned around curiously. "Oh my God, Lucas calm down. It'll be okay, I'll be right there. Just stay there." The phone call ended and Haley turned back towards her confused friends.

"Karen," she began, not knowing how to put it. "She tried to kill herself," God that sounded blunt, she thought angrily at herself. "They're at the hospital now, the don't know if she's gonna make it.

There was a flurry of movement and confusion as the three teens rushed towards the car. Brooke was in shock, how could she do this? To Lucas? Didn't Karen have any idea how much she meant to her son? Brooke was scared to even consider what Lucas might do if his mother did die.

The ride to the hospital was for the most part silent, except for the occasional sob. Tears were flowing down all their cheeks, but strangely, not that much for Karen. They all were rather angry at Karen; their tears were shed for Lucas, and how much he was going through.

When they entered the waiting room, Brooke ran towards her boyfriend. Even though they weren't on the best terms right then, they both knew they loved one another. Brooke hugged him close, but he didn't return the gesture. Lucas was completely unresponsive.

Brooke realized her hands were wet, and she broke away from Lucas. They were covered in blood. She looked down at Lucas' arms and saw the same thing. Trying not to scream out in disgust, she bent next to her boyfriend, and gently said they should get him cleaned up.

Brooke led Lucas towards one of the bathrooms as Haley broke down in Nathan's arms. Nathan hugged her close, feeling his own tears trickle down his face.

Moments after Lucas and Brooke sat down again, a doctor came out looking for the family of Ms. Roe. Lucas stood up, feeling an eerie sense of dread. What the doctor said next could quite possibly change his life.

"We're sorry, the blood loss was quite severe, and I'm afraid we lost her." Lucas simply stared at the doctor for a few moments. His friends turned to face him worriedly, but he just continued glaring at the man. Finally, ignoring the calls from his friends, he strode out of the waiting room quickly.

Knowing that Brooke, Nathan and Haley were all following him, Lucas began to run once he reached the parking lot. He ran as fast as he could, until he was out of earshot of his friends desperate shouts. He couldn't bear to listen to them for another second, he couldn't bear their pity.

"Damnit!" Lucas shouted to no one in particular. He kicked a pole on the sidewalk, trying to relieve his pain. Rain had begun to fall and it mixed with his tears. He just wanted to go home. But he didn't have a home. Not anymore.

**A/N- **OK, what do you guys think? I wasn't sure how to write the beginning, and I

definitely don't know how doctors act, so I sort of guessed. I hope you

liked it, let me know if I should continue. I love reviews!

-kt


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the next chapter, hope you guys enjoy!

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Brooke, Nathan, and Haley looked desperately around the parking lot for their friend.

"OK, you guys go left, I'll go right. Meet me back here," Nathan ordered. He ran as fast as he could after his brother. "Lucas!" he shouted hopefully. He was no where to be found. After about 15 minutes he gave up and jogged back towards the hospital, where he found Brooke and Haley waiting for him.

"I can't find him anywhere, so I'm gonna take the car back to his house. You guys can keep looking around here, try the River Court. Come to his house if you can't find him, okay?" The girls nodded in agreement, and Nathan climbed into his car.

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Nathan tried to block out his thoughts by turning up the music really loud. He looked absently out the window hoping to catch sight of his brother, but had no luck. Finally he reached the house, where he ran to the door, but hesitated before opening it. He had no idea what to expect, or, for that matter, what he wanted to see.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the unlocked door, and saw the disaster that was the living room. "Jesus," he whispered, stepping over the shattered glass. Nathan heard a loud crashing noise coming from Karen's bedroom. Cautiously, he walked towards the room, where the door was open.

Nathan stared in shock. Lucas was throwing things off the desk and dresser. "Luke, man, calm down. What're you doing?" he asked in wonder.

Lucas paused for a moment, and turned around to face his brother with tearstained cheeks. "Isn't it the custom to leave a note?" he asked in a heartbreaking voice.

"Luke," Nathan whispered, watching as his brother shoved more books off the desk desperately, and then collapse on the floor in a fit of silent tears.

"Luke," Nathan whispered again, walking slowly forward. Awkwardly, he knelt next to his brother and embraced his shaking body. "It's going to be okay, it'll be okay." Nathan hugged him closer, trying to create a sense of safety in Lucas.

"I tried, I really tried," Lucas sobbed into Nathan's shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault, Luke, you did everything you could," Nathan soothed his brother reassuringly. They stayed in that position for several minutes, until Nathan realized that Luke had fallen asleep in his arms.

Wiping the tears from his own eyes, he carefully lifted his brother's body and carried it towards his bed.

Coming back to the living room with the intention of cleaning up, he saw Brooke and Haley standing in the doorway uncertainly. "Hey," he said quietly. "He's sleeping." Brooke nodded, and then bent down to pick up some of the glass on the ground. Haley followed suit in silence, and before he knew it, they were crying into each others arms, hugging each other hard, refusing to let go.

Nathan watched sadly, as he saw still more people he loved break down that night. He came down next to them, and joined their hug. When they had finally calmed down and wiped their tears, they continued cleaning. Once that was finished, which took a couple of hours, they looked around at the newly clean room, but feeling that it was tainted; full of secrets that left it permanently dirty.

Since none of them wanted to sleep in Karen's bed, and the couch wasn't big enough for all of them, they decided to go home that night, and come back in the morning.

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The next morning, Lucas woke up early. At first he didn't remember what had happened, but then images came flooding back to him from the previous day. Lucas never felt so alone as he did that morning, curled up under the blankets.

Finally, being able to stand it no more, Lucas stood up and walked to the kitchen. He realized that everything had been picked up, and he silently thanked Nathan, and whoever else had come over. Walking towards the liquor cabinet, he noted to his pleasure that there were still some bottles left. Picking out two of them, he walked back to his room, thankful now to have companions.

Lucas stayed in his room for a couple hours, steadily taking in more and more alcohol, drifting in and out of sleep. At around 7:30 the door opened, and he heard voices. Some part of Lucas told him that he should probably hide the bottles of alcohol, but he didn't see the point anymore. So, instead, he simply snuggled further into the blankets and took another long swig of beer, as the door opened revealing a shocked Brooke.

"Lucas! What- what're you doing?" he shrugged, thinking the answer was rather obvious, as he put the beer down. "Come on, don't do this. You don't even like to drink." Brooke attempted to reason with him, but she could see by his expression that it wasn't doing any good.

"Yes I do," Luke slurred. "It makes me feel better. I just want it to go away," he said, then dissolved into tears once again. Brooke held him close, running her hands through his hair as he fell asleep.

Satisfied that he wouldn't wake up anytime soon, Brooke slid out from under her boyfriend, and picked up the empty bottles of alcohol and went to throw them out. On the way back to Luke's bedroom, she realized she really needed to use the bathroom. She went to the one connected to Karen's room, but after opening the door she shrieked and shrunk back.

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Awoken by the scream, Lucas wondered what was going on now. He pulled his lead legs out of his bed, and, ignoring his awful head ache, walked towards where the noise had come from.

The first thing he saw was Brooke stumbling backwards in shock, and he ran forwards, unaware of what he was doing.

Lucas caught Brooke before she hit the ground, and turned to see his mother's bathroom door opened. There was blood all over the floor, coating it. He stared in silence for a few seconds, aware that Brooke was looking worriedly up at him. He continued to stare, images of his mother flooding his mind. His stomach churned, and the alcohol wasn't helping.

Suddenly, he felt like the room was closing in on him, trapping him. He turned on his heel and ran as fast as he could without looking back, ignoring Brooke's shouts.

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Luke ran as fast as he could down the street, trying to block everything out. Finally, when he could go no longer, he bent down on the sidewalk, breathing heavily. He tried to keep the small contents of his stomach down, to no avail, and was soon puking all over the curb.

When his stomach settled down, Lucas sat down on the closest bench. Shivering, he clutched his sides, which still hurt from the long run, and tried to keep warm. He was alone again, and hated it. The emptiness inside was back; he didn't think it would ever go away.

He heard a car pull over in front of him, and felt Brooke's comforting arms envelop him. He didn't even try to pull away, he just sunk into her body, allowing himself to be held the way his mother used to hold him when he was little.

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**A/N-**So what'd you guys think? I hope you liked it, please review!

-kt


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- Okay sorry it took me a while to update, but I've had SO much homework and a whole bunch of tests for the end of the year. I promise once school is out- middle of June- i'll update more. Anyway, I'm not sure if I liked how this one turned out, but please read and review.

PhotoboothRomance, I liked your idea about Lucas resenting Nathan, so I tried to work it in to this chapter a bit, and I'll probably bring it back later. Thanks a lot for you feedback!

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Lucas awoke slowly on the morning of the funeral, his mind preceding his body. When he did fully awake and realized the day he let out a low groan.

Brooke fidgeted in her sleep in the bed next to him, but luckily didn't wake.

Pulling himself out of his bed, carefully not disturbing Brooke, he headed towards the bathroom, which had mercifully been cleaned by Nathan a few days earlier, to wash his face. He had a killer hangover; he had recently realized how amazingly easy it was to get drunk when your mother owned a club. Unfortunately, he never managed to ditch his friends long enough to get totally wasted, which Lucas believed to be quite a shame.

Luke headed for the medicine cabinet, intending to make use of the magics of aspirin, when another bottle of pills caught his eye, not for the first time in the past week. He glanced longingly at it for a moment, before forcing himself to turn away. The only reason he didn't simply take his pathetic life was his depression over his mother's actions. He refused to cause anyone he loved the amount of pain that he was going through.

Walking back towards his room, he noticed Brooke stirring again in her sleep. He sighed; Brooke had been there every night except the first after his mother died. She prevented him from getting too drunk, something Lucas often resented her for, because it would be a blessed relief most nights, but loved her for all the same.

"Hey Broody," Brooke whispered as she awoke. "How'ya doin'?" Lucas graced her with a slight smile at the mention of his all-too-fitting nickname. "I'm all right, how'd you sleep?" he asked, sitting down next to her and snaking his arm around her waist.

"Real good," Brooke responded softly, planting a kiss on her boyfriends lips. Lucas broke it off pretty quickly, but she could see a faint glimmer of the old Lucas behind his eyes. It was the moments alone with Brooke that Lucas lived for. The moments when he could pretend the last few weeks had never happened. Unfortunately, those moments were short-lived.

Interrupting their moment, the front door to the house banged open. "Anyone up?" called Haley.

"Over here!" Brooke shouted right into Lucas' ear. He mock glared at her, and she just laughed. Haley came in holding the suit he was supposed to wear to the funeral, Nathan trailing behind her.

"Hey Luke. How you holding up?" Haley asked in her motherly voice she had adopted just for him. Lucas stared determinedly at the ground, knowing if he met her eye all he would see was pity. He didn't want Haley to act like his mother, he had a mother. And he could take care of himself just fine.

"Okay," he mumbled. After an awkward pause, he said quietly, "I guess I should get my suit on." Grabbing it, he left the room and went towards the bathroom.

Closing the bathroom door, Lucas could hear his friends conversing in whispers about him. He knew exactly what they were saying, he didn't have to hear it. First Brooke would say he had been just fine before they got there, then Haley would have some psychological explanation for his sudden mood swings, then Nathan would just agree with whatever Haley said.

Turning away from the door, he shot a look of loathing at his suit. Lucas hated suits. And seeing this one brought a strange feeling in him. He realized that he had had no say in his mother's funeral. Deb had flown in and took care of all the arrangements, even what he was wearing. All Lucas had to do was show up. Hopefully in black, but if not, the crowd would understand he was grieving and give him even more pitying looks.

Therefore, it was easier to wear the suit. He wondered if that was their master plan.

Lucas sighed sadly. The day had come. The day where they would put his mother underground, never to resurface. He knew that once that was done he would have to face the truth. The ceremony would be a load of crap, a bunch of people he barely knew sharing their stories about his mother, all silently excusing her final actions as those of a grief stricken woman.

The suicide wouldn't be mentioned, it would be forgotten. Lucas knew that, and he hated it. Because the suicide was what made this whole thing so much harder.

Emerging from the bathroom he found his bedroom door shut and Nathan, already dressed, waiting outside. "Hey," Nathan said uncertainly. "The girls are dressing in there, so I wouldn't go in."

Lucas nodded uninterestedly. "Whose car we takin?" he asked. Nathan looked rather confused, but answered, "Mine, I think." Lucas nodded again, and then left and ventured towards the kitchen. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he couldn't stand being around anyone but Brooke for more than a few minutes.

He was looking for any form of coffee when he was aware of his brothers lingering presence behind him. Suppressing a sigh, he turned around and asked boredly, "Wanna cup of coffee?" Nathan shrugged, and Lucas took that as a yes. He started making some, and then turned around to face Nathan.

There was silence again. Lucas hated silence lately, it left him too much time to think.

"So," Luke began, trying to think of something to say. Nathan jerked his head up in surprise, realizing he was being spoken to.

"Oh, yeah." Lucas rolled his eyes. This conversation was fulfilling.

Well, he didn't really want to talk anyway.

Finally the girls came into the kitchen, much to Luke's relief and took up the small talk. Nathan seemed more alive now that there were other people to talk to, and Lucas was just glad that someone broke the silence.

He pretended he was listening, and even sort of cared about whatever the hell they were saying, trying to push the thoughts of the funeral from his mind.

xxxxxxXXXxxxxxx

At the church, sitting in the front pew, silence seemed a way of life.

There was some priest talking about something, but it all came out in buzzes in Luke's mind. All his thoughts were on his mother, his mother and Keith, his childhood.

Lucas was so absorbed in his happy memories he forgot where he was. For a blissful hour, he was six being pushed on the swings by Karen. Or 12 eating dinner with Karen and Keith, laughing at their jokes. Or 17, watching them be so happy, and in love.

In a daze they headed out to the graveyard, where he seemed to be spending so much time lately. He ignored all the whispers, the people apologizing to him, because he couldn't hear them. Lucas was in his own world, and in this world things ended happily ever after.

Lucas was cruelly yanked from that world by the priest, asking him to cover the coffin with the first handful of dirt. He walked shakily towards it, and stared at the box that held his mother in it being lowered into the ground. The mother that had deserted him. The mother who had left him to go be with Keith. The mother that had left him with only memories.

Lucas' eyes burned, but, he realized, not with tears. With anger. She had left him, on her own free will. She cared about Keith more. Everything he felt right then was her fault.

Everyone was watching him expectantly, but Brooke was worried. Something didn't look right. He had been staring at the coffin too long, and his hands weren't reaching for the pile of dirt like they were supposed to.

Lucas breathed in deeply, trying to steady himself. He knew now everyone was watching him. He didn't care. This was the real world, and the real world, he knew, didn't end happily ever after.

"You bitch," he whispered to the coffin, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "You bitch," he repeated, then kicked some dirt in the coffin and stalked off to the car.

Everyone stood, shocked from the outburst. Brooke ran off, swerving between trees, trying to catch up with Lucas. She called for him, and he slowed down. "Luke, sweetie," she started.

"She is," Lucas whispered. "She is and someone had to say it. They can't talk about how amazing someone was in life and forget that she killed herself leaving me behind."

Brooke sensed that Luke was less angry now, and just upset. Nathan was catching up to them now, so she made Lucas stop walking all together. Lucas glared at his brother, and Deb and Dan standing 20 feet behind him waiting expectantly.

"Lucas, wait up. Hey, Luke," Nathan started, but stopped when he saw his brother's expression. He was staring at Nathan's parents with a loathsome look, as if he wanted nothing more but for them to drop dead.

"Luke?" Nathan asked confused.

"Go back to Mommy and Daddy, they're waiting," Lucas said venomously, surprising them all, including himself, with the suppressed emotion, before turning on his heel and continuing his walk home, Brooke on his heels.

**A/N**- Okay. Please review! I only keep writing for the feedback I get. I appreciate it all. I hoped you guys like the chapter, I'm not sure if it was my best, but hopefully it wasn't too awful. It may take a while to

update, with school and that crap, but I'll try my best. Up next, we find out what happens to Luke now that his moms gone. Thanks for reading!

-kt


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back:) So I know I took forever, and I'm a bad person, and this isn't even that long. But I had school, and then it was summer, and... I'm gonna stop the excuses now. So this chapter takes place about two to three weeks after the funeral, and basically has some flashbacks. It's totally Lucas-centric, and is a filler chapter. It took forever to get this chapter right, so enjoy!

Lucas POV

How did this happen? How did his life get so fucked up? Could all of his misery really be traced back to that split second decision to follow Nathan into that school?

And yet, even as he sat alone in the bathroom of the beach house, tears flowing freely down as he ran the razor blade gently up his arm, he knew that if he hadn't Peyton would be gone. His life seemed to be a lose-lose situation.

He threw the blade away and cleaned up the blood carefully. He examined his new bedroom, too clean and too perfect, and wondered again, How did he

get here?

FLASHBACK

Lucas was sitting in his bedroom when the doorbell rang.

"I'm Joan, from Social Services. May I come in?" The woman said.

Dumbly, he moved aside. He hadn't spoken to anyone but close friends since the funeral and now this almost-stranger was inviting herself in. Joan settled herself on the couch. "First I would like to say how sorry I am for your loss." Lucas didn't respond. Apologizes had been made so often in the past few days that they had lost all meaning. And he knew there was more coming.

"As you know, you are a minor, and therefore must live with a legal guardian. We do think that your father would be easiest, and have already contacted him. He has agreed to the arrangement, and I think it's best if you move in quite soon. You may pack an overnight bag, and come back for the rest of your stuff tomorrow." Joan finished quickly, knowing that the boys father had been less than thrilled to take his son in, and thinking that it might be best to do it when it wasn't interrupting him or his work.

As he listened to the woman talk, he couldn't help but think that he was dreaming. This had to be some sick dream. How could he have forgotten this? 'Did I really think that I could live on my own when I'm only 17? Crap. I can't go live with Dan. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse.'

In a daze he packed his bag. The car ride was spent in silence, Lucas still in his trance-like state.

END FLASHBACK

Lucas checked the long incisions on his arms, some fresh and some nearly

healed. He had never thought of himself as self-destructive, but the cutting, like so many other things in his life lately, had just happened. Whenever the pain got to be too much, he could let it out.

He glanced up when he heard loud footsteps as Dan stumbled to his bedroom at 1 in the morning. Dan had been very distant from the community since the funeral, in fact no one but Lucas had seen him up close.

He had never truly gotten over his first love, and knowing that he was the cause of her suicide was killing him. But only Lucas could see this, because only Lucas shared his pain. And yet instead of helping each other, Dan tried his best to ignore his eldest son when he was sober, seeing him as a living reminder of the despair he had caused. And when he was drunk, he tried to shift his guilt onto him.

FLASHBACK

"Come on Luke, just a couple hours tonight. It'll be good to get out of the house," Brooke pleaded.

After a bit of begging, Lucas agreed to come out that night with her. He avoided Dan on the way out; in the weeks that Lucas had been living together they still hadn't spent more that a few minutes in the same room.

Lucas stayed at Brooke's until 11:30 that night, savoring the effect she had on him. When she was around he could almost forget everything.

"I love you Brooke," he said as he walked towards the door.

"I love you too," she whispered in response as her boyfriend made his

way out to his car.

When Lucas opened the door to the beach house it was nearly midnight, and was met by his father and a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Carefully, Lucas sidestepped him and attempted to make towards his room. But before he could go more than a few steps Dan grabbed his arm and yanked him back rudely.

"Where the hell were you?" he spat into Lucas' face.

"Out with Brooke," Luke muttered, trying to pry his arm from his fathers

death grip.

"Glad to see you can still have fun," Dan said snidely. "Even though you're the reason your mother is gone! But if you want to go on leading your life, go ahead! She didn't want you, I don't want you, and Brooke probably doesn't give a shit about you either! You're just a burden to us around here." With that he let go of his sons arm and shoved him into a wall before walking off the other way.

Lucas stood alone in the hallway, tears stinging his eyes as he massaged

his newly bruised arm.

END FLASHBACK

Exhausted, Lucas stretched out on his bed dreading the next day when he would have to go to school and face his friends and put on the facade, while concealing the bruises and cuts scattering about his arms and the pain welling up inside.

A/N Short, I know. Next chapter well get back to the rest of the gang,

probably at school. Sorry if this was a bit confusing with the flashbacks

or anything, I did my best to make it clear Anyway, I'll try and get the

next chapter up faster, but I can't make any promises. So, as always,

thanks for reading and please review:)

kt


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill**

Okay, so I updated quicker this time. :) This chapter and the ones following it are pretty dark. Contains cutting and abuse. If you are offended by these things, I'm sorry and you probably shouldn't read. Anyway, I hope you like it and please review!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Brooke," Lucas said as he approached her the next day at school.

"Hey Broody. How're you feeling?"

"Um, okay I guess," Lucas responded, trying to ignore the looks of pity he was getting left and right. Brooke leaned over and planted a kiss on his mouth as the bell rang, and told him she'd see him at lunch and walked off in the opposite direction.

Watching her go, Lucas pulled the cuffs of his long shirt down to cover a small bruise still forming on his wrist before heading to class.

Lucas sat in the seat open next to Peyton, and then lounged backward.

"You know, normally people bring books to their classes Luke," Peyton

commented.

"Whatever," he muttered moodily, not bothering to face her.

Peyton sighed. "Come on, Lucas. Mr. Sulivan is gonna freak if you don't have your homework, again. Tell me you did it."

Lucas groaned and finally turned to his friend. "First, why does it matter? Hell, I don't even know what our homework was. And isn't it a bit late now?"

The teacher entered the room and called the classes attention. He walked through the rows, collecting homework, and came to a stop in front of Lucas' desk.

"Mr. Scott, I suppose it's safe to assume you failed to complete the assignment again."

"I do believe it is, sir," Lucas replied sarcastically. Peyton inwardly groaned.

"Do you want to take this attitude to the guidance office? Or perhaps the principal?"

Lucas rolled his eyes openly, and stood up in front of his teacher, towering over him, and causing some students to giggle uncertainly. "You know, maybe I will! I just have so many problems and could really use some one to talk to." Lucas said sarcasm dripping from every word. He started to walk to the door, then turned, one hand still on the doorknob. "Oh, and by the way Mr. Sulivan." The teacher turned, frustration evident in his eyes. Lucas flashed his middle finger, and said very clearly, "Mind your own business, would ya?"

He walked swiftly from the room, slamming the door behind him. Mr. Sulivan angrily stomped after him, door closing behind him as well. Every student in the class strained to hear what was going on outside, but couldn't make out the words, until they heard their teacher shout out, "Get back here Scott!" His footsteps echoed in the almost empty hallways, as he grabbed the back of Lucas' shirt and tried to pull him around. "Get the hell off me!" Lucas yelled, surprising even himself, and the 20 some students listening.

Five minutes later Mr. Sulivan came back in the class, slightly red-faced, and tried to have class normally, despite the hushed mutterings and looks exchanged between his students. Peyton just groaned and hit her head on her desk before blocking out the rest of the lesson and the nonstop gossip.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lunchtime came, and Nathan, Haley, Brooke, and Peyton grouped together

to find a table. "Where's Lucas?" Brooke asked curiously.

Peyton sighed and retold the story of his outburst. When she finished she glanced up to see her friends reactions. Nathan whistled. Haley and Brooke looked like they were about to cry for Lucas. "God, can he get just one day through this stupid school without something going wrong?" Brooke mused.

"Unlikely," Nathan muttered.

"Well, if he's not in too much trouble with Dan, maybe we can all hang out later, and, I dunno, try and talk some sense into him," Brooke suggested hopefully. She missed doing group things.

Haley laughed shortly and humorlessly. "Brooke are you serious? In case you haven't noticed, Lucas has barely said two words to anyone except for you in weeks. I kind of doubt he's gonna agree to some kind of intervention." Peyton nodded in agreement.

"And if I know Dan, there is no chance in hell Luke's gonna get out of the house anytime soon," Nathan added.

"Well I'm going over there anyway," Brooke stated stubbornly.

XXXXxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Suspended," Dan said as the front door of the school slammed behind them. "Do you know how it feels to get a call in the middle of the day from your principal and have to interrupt my work to come get you?" He shouted as they made their way into the parking lot.

Lucas ignored his father, staring determinedly at his car and refusing to break its gaze. "Are you listening to me?" Dan said loudly from behind him. Lucas didn't break stride.

Dan's temper flared as his son shut him out completely. "I said," he yelled as he grabbed Lucas' shoulders and forced him to turn around, slamming him into a nearby car in the process, "are you listening to me?"

Lucas struggled to get out of his father's grasp, his right arm throbbing from hitting the car but Dan kept his hold. "You had better get your miserable act together! I am sick of you disgracing the Scott name, you worthless failure."

"You would know," Lucas spat back in his face.

Dan hit him hard on the side of his face and hissed, "Don't talk back to me. You are to go straight home, and not leave there! And no one comes over!" He pushed Lucas hard, then walked away.

Lucas stood in the middle of the empty parking lot, tears filling his

eyes as his father drove off. He waited until Dan was completely out of

sight before continuing to walk towards his own car, fighting back tears.

XXXXXXXXXxxxXXXXXXXXX

"Tutor girl, Nathan, I'm going over to Luke's. You guys sure you don't wanna come?"

"Yeah. You guys can go make out and we'll have our own little party here, won't we Nathan?"

Brooke laughed and walked out the apartment door. When she reached the beach house 20 minutes later she checked the driveway to make sure Dan

wasn't home then parked across the street.

Lucas was in his bathroom, thinking of all the horrible things Dan had said to him, 'Bastard, worthless, disgrace, failure.' He was slowly working the blade up his arm when the doorbell rang. He jumped and narrowly missed cutting his arm really deeply with the blade still clutched in his hand.

Lucas tried to clean up the evidence on the bathroom floor as the bell chimed again. He ran down the stairs pulling his sleeve down as he went.

When he opened the door he was met by a kiss. Startled he pulled back,

and Brooke said cheerfully, "Hey Broody!"

"Um, hi Brooke. Look, this really isn't the best time," he muttered, trying to hide his arm because the blood was now starting to stain the shirt he was wearing.

"Nonsense. It's as good a time as any, isn't it? Dan isn't home, so it's just the two of us. And I hear you got suspended, so I probably won't get to see you that often. And by the way, we have to talk about that." She added the last part in a scolding voice.

"Look, you can't stay long, but go into the living room, I'll be right back." Lucas ran towards his bathroom as Brooke stared after him, confused.

When he came back he was wearing a different shirt, which Brooke noticed

and smirked. "Did you wanna look good for your pretty girl?" she asked cheerfully.

"What? Oh the shirt. The other one, was, um, kind of dirty."

"Well, as long as I get to take it off," Brooke whispered seductively. She reached for his arm and pulled him onto the couch, not noticing when he winced. Her hands started to unbutton his shirt but Lucas grabbed them. Brooke looked up, confused. "What? What's wrong?"

"Sorry, I just, I don't wanna do this now." He stood up quickly and rebuttoned the bottom of his shirt.

"Sure. I didn't mean to," Brooke began.

"It's okay. Really."

Brooke stood up, and walked closer to her boyfriend. "Hey, what happened to your face?" She asked, confused. "It looks swollen."

"It's nothing. I just," but before Lucas could come up with an excuse the door slammed open and Lucas jerked his head away. "Shit," he muttered.

Dan walked into the living room and saw Brooke standing next to Lucas, who looked a little scared. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked in a dangerously quiet voice. When there was no response, he repeated, this time louder, "What the HELL do you think you're doing? I told you not to have anyone over!" Dan walked closer to his son, a cruel glint in his eye.

"You should go, Brooke," Lucas muttered, shifting his gaze back to his

girlfriend.

"But," she started.

"Now," Lucas said. Dan was now so close to them they could both smell the alcohol in his breath. Brooke looked up, slightly scared of the side of Dan Scott she had never seen before, but grabbed her purse and walked quickly out of the house.

Brooke sat in her car trying to fight off tears. 'God, why does this have to happen to him? He doesn't deserve this. It's not fair!'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lucas stumbled into his room 20 minutes later. His head was throbbing

again and he hated everything at that moment. He threw his books off his dresser angrily. Glancing at his mirror he walked closer, glaring at his reflection, hating everything about himself. He drew his hand back and punched the mirror, glass shattering and leaving his hand covered in blood. There was a loud noise from the kitchen and Luke froze. He stood there motionlessly for about a minute, but Dan didn't come to his room. Quietly, he ran to the bathroom.

He groped around for the blade he had dropped earlier, and when he found

it quickly brang it to his forearm, letting out a sigh of relief. And there he let out his troubles silently, tears flowing down his cheeks as he thought of his mother, and Keith, and Dan. As he wallowed in his own desperate pain, he dug the razor blade deeper, trying so hard to make it all go away. Then things seemed to spin for a moment, before everything went black. He didn't even remember his head hitting the floor.

XXXXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXXXX

Okay, there's chapter 8! I hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review, I always appreciate it:) Thanks for reading!

-kt


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- So it's been a while, right? Yeah I'm slow. So this chapter is dedicated to nemo123489 who finally convinced me to get off my lazy butt and write this. Thanks for all who reviewed, I hope I don't disappoint!

Dan POV

There was a loud crash from his eldest sons room. Damnit, what the hell was that boy doing? He took another swig from his bottle. If the kid kept acting up in school it would get out. People would question him and his parenting abilities. More than they did now. And he couldn't have people questioning Mayor Dan Scott.

Another thump and he slammed his bottle down and stomped off to Lucas'

room, muttering angrily.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" he yelled, bursting into his son's room uninvited. There was no response. Dan scanned the room, searching for Lucas. Seeing the light in the bathroom he walked over and pushed the door open.

He gasped and stumbled backwards. "Jesus," he whispered. Lucas was on the bathroom floor, pale, with a small puddle of blood next to his arm. He couldn't help but think this must be how Lucas must've felt when he found his mother.

Falling to his knees next to his son he felt around Lucas' neck until he found a pulse. Relieved, he ran out to find a phone.

He was about to dial when it dawned on him. If he called an ambulance the whole neighborhood would be awoken. They would all see. And soon the entire town would know that Mayor Dan Scott's son committed suicide. The doctors would probably find the bruises too. If that got out...

He shoved the phone back on the counter and ran back to the bathroom. Carefully he slid his hands under Lucas' skinny frame and lifted him up, surprised that he seemed lighter than he had the last time Dan had carried him to his car.

Dan pushed his son into the back seat after wrapping his arm tightly with some paper towels and then got situated into the drivers seat. He looked around to make sure that the neighborhood was still asleep, then drove off quickly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brooke sat in her car sniffling and desperately wishing she had tissues with her when she saw the front door of Mr. Scott's house open. She squinted through the darkness to try and make out what was going on. Dan seemed to be carrying something, was that Lucas? She sat up a bit higher and leaned closer into the window, hoping he wouldn't notice her.

Dan opened the back door first, but Brooke couldn't see what he was doing. He then got in the front and after a minute drove off. Brooke wiped her tears and followed him suspiciously.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh my God," Brooke whispered as Dan's car pulled into Tree Hill Hospital and into the emergency lane. She watched as Dan parked haphazardly and ran around the car and then into the swinging doors. She sat there petrified until she realized that she was still in the street and that the people behind her were honking.

After finding a parking spot she sat motionless trying to block out the hundreds of scenarios that were running through her head. 'Had Dan hurt Lucas? Had Lucas hurt himself? Or did someone totally different attack them? If Dan had laid a finger on her boyfriend she would so kick his ass,' she thought.

Tears were welling up yet again. She had no choice, she had to go inside, be brave. She hated the suspense.

Walking through the doors to the waiting room she caught sight of Dan leaning against a wall, not looking too worried. That was a good sign she hoped. He didn't look to happy to see her though.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed as he stalked towards her. Brooke looked around, the waiting room was just about empty so why was he being so

quiet.

"I, uh, saw you leave, and, what's going on? Is Luke okay?"

"So what, you followed us?" he whispered angrily,

"Yeah, I did. Where's Lucas?" Brooke said, getting louder as Dan got quieter. She was bordering on hysteria and she hated that Dan seemed so indifferent about this.

"Family of Lucas Scott?" called a doctor. Brooke pushed herself in front of Dan.

Dan glared at the girl and then turned to face the doctor. "Yes?" he said calmly.

"Lucas should be just fine. The blood loss wasn't too serious and he should be able to go home tomorrow."

"Blood loss? How? What happened?" Brooke asked nervously.

"From the cutting. Like I said, he should be fine, but I think he should have therapy, anti-depressants, and we need to discuss that. This doesn't look like a first time thing." The doctor responded carefully.

"Wait, are you saying he did this to himself?" Brooke asked tearfully.

"Brooke, could you give us a moment?" Dan asked, rolling his eyes at her before walking down the hallway with the doctor in tow.

Brooke watched Dan leave in disgust. She rocked back and forth on her heels and then sank down to the floor and cried for what seemed like the

thousandth time that night.

"What happened to our lives?" Brooke whispered to the empty room. She

just wanted her Broody back the way he was, far away from Dan, back with

Keith and Karen. She wanted them back, the real Karen, the one who loved

and cared about her son more than anything else. But it was too late for her.

Hopefully it wasn't too late for Lucas.

XXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX

"Really Mr. Scott, as a doctor, I think your son is in need of some kind of therapy. Shoving drugs down his throat isn't gonna help in the long run," Dr. Matthews said, a bit annoyed with the man.

"Listen, doctor," Dan said scathingly, "This is how it's going to go. This will be ruled as an accident. No one will find out about this. You will prescribe him anti-depressents, but that is all you will do. Got it?" Dan pulled out his wallet and hoped a bribe would be enough to smooth this over.

20 minutes later Dan came back to the waiting room feeling quite good about himself, while also thinking the boy was more trouble than he was worth. And that he was going to have a killer hangover in the morning, and it was a miracle no one had noticed how drunk he was in this hospital.

However all his thoughts halted when he saw the empty waiting room. Where was the girl? She wouldn't have gone home, she was too damn stubborn, he mused. Which meant she had undoubtedly wooed her way into her boyfriends room...

XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey. You're awake," Brooke whispered as she closed the door behind her.

"Yeah," Lucas rasped. He could see Brooke's puffy eyes and mascara tracks down her cheeks. He hated that he had made her cry.

"Good. Now I can kill you." Brooke climbed onto the bed and examined her boyfriend. He was pale, and his wrist was bandaged up, but he looked happy to see her.

"How could you do this? You scared the shit out of me! No one would

tell me what was happening, and Dan the ass is out there ignoring me, and I

didn't know what to think, and then to find out you did this! God Luke, do you know what i would do without you? Cause I don't." Brooke ended sniffling.

"Shh, it's okay, come here." Lucas put her arm around Brooke and she

snuggled against him. "It was an accident you know. I mean, it wasn't supposed to go that far."

"But you still did it. Why couldn't you just talk to me? Why do you have to hurt yourself? I mean, you do know I'm here for you, right?"

"Brooke, I know, it's just," but he was cut short by Dan clearing his throat from the doorway.

"Brooke, we have to talk. In the hall please."

Lucas looked confused, and Brooke looked a little scared.

"What? Why?" Luke started, but Dan interrupted him with, "Now please."

Brooke shrugged and followed him out, closing the door behind herself.

"Miss Davis," Dan began, and Brooke raised her eyebrows, already on her

guard. "What happened here tonight will not leave this hospital. You won't tell anyone, and neither will I or Lucas. I won't have this ruining everything I've worked for." Brooke was disgusted. He was so self-absorbed! "And if you do tell anyone," he added in a hushed voice and leaning close, "I do swear I will make you regret it. You do not want to be on my bad side."

Straightening up he said louder, "I think Luke need his rest, so good night to you." And with that he walked away, leaving Brooke to think about what he had just said. Would Dan Scott really hurt her? He seemed a bit drunk, was he serious?

She knew one thing for sure though. She never wanted to be near Dan

Scott the way he was earlier that night at his house. Especially if he was after her.

A/N- There's chapter 9! Next you can see a bit of Naley, and of course

Brucas. And maybe some Breyton friendship! Please Review, I appreciate it!

More reviews, faster the next chapter comes up!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- Hey guys! It's been forever huh? I hope you guys still remember this story, and I really hope you like the new chapter. 

Nathan and Haley sat in the apartment Haley and Brooke shared quietly. They were watching a movie but neither was really paying attention. Haley twirled her long hair around her finger absently. Memories of a happier time filled her mind. A time when she could watch a movie with her husband in their apartment and the worst thing plaguing her mind would be how she did on her Lit paper. Back when she thought nothing could ever happen to them.

"Haley? Hales?"

She jerked out of her daydream, surprised. "Hmm?" She mumbled, snuggling closer to Nathan.

"You okay? You seem distracted." The movie still played in the background. Haley stalled for a moment watching it. It was a sweet movie, one with a happy ending. All fairy tales had happy endings. No matter what, something good would come out of. Haley couldn't help but think that that was a lie. Disney was setting impossible standards. Slowly she pulled her attention from the lovesick woman and back to her husband. He was still looking at her expectantly.

"You love me, right?" she whispered, avoiding his question.

"Of course." There was no hesitation in his answer. She loved that about him; he never asked why, he just answered.

"You think this'll work, right? Us, I mean. You'll love me forever?"

"Always and forever. Are you sure you're okay?"

"It's just, with everything that's been happening- I don't want to end up like Karen. I don't want to lose you, 'cause I don't think I could handle it." She looked up at Nathan searching his face for a reaction but it was unreadable. "I'm scared I love you too much," she murmured, her voice almost inaudible.

"Hey. Haley, listen to me." He touched her chin and forced her to look at him. "I am not going anywhere. Not for a long time. And you're stronger than Karen was. Okay?" Haley nodded slightly, holding back tears.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss Keith and Karen."

"I know sweetie. I miss them too."

"Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss Lucas. I miss my best friend the way he used to be." Her voice cracked and a small tear escaped her eye.

"I know. Thins will get better."

"How could you possibly know that?"

Nathan pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "Because they have to."

"Nathan?" she said yet again, her voice raising an octave.

"Yeah?" he asked with a sigh.

"I don't know if we can do this."

"Do what?"

Haley met his eyes as the man and woman in the movie said their 'I do's' and whispered, "Have a baby."

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As Brooke was leaving the hospital around 10:30 she realized she really didn't want to go back to her apartment. Haley and Nathan would be busy, and they deserved a nice night for themselves. They hadn't had too many of those since the shooting. So instead of going straight on the road she took a sharp right and sped towards the one place she had always been welcome and could always spill her secrets.

About 15 minutes she pulled up to Peyton's house. She glanced at herself in the rearview mirror. Her hair was mussed and her makeup was smeared on her face but she didn't care and she knew that Peyton wouldn't either.

She let herself in easily with the key she had possessed for years. As she climbed the stairs she realized she hadn't been there in a while. She had practically grown up there but she really hadn't been spending that much time with her best friend lately.

The crutches Peyton barely needed anymore were discarded in the hallway and Brooke almost tripped over them. She caught her fall and paused; she heard something. Listening closer she realized there were voices. All of a sudden she felt unbelievably awkward standing in front of the door that she had barged through so many times before. She hesitated briefly, then scolded herself for being stupid and thrust the door open.

"Peyton I-- Oh my god!" Brooke shrieked swirling around hands over her mouth. Peyton jumped sending the guy she was making out with falling off the bed.

"Brooke! Oh, god, um just a second." Peyton fumbled around for her shirt on the bed. "Um, you remember Pete, right? He was just in town." The shirtless guy stood up and waved to Brookes back.

"Yeah. Um, hi Pete. From Fall Out Boy, right?" Brooke still refused to turn to face him. She could feel her face turning redder by the second.

"Yeah. That's me." Pete responded as Peyton handed him his shirt.

Brooke couldn't believe she had just seen that. Her hands went instinctively towards her hair trying to smooth out the knots. She had never been embarrassed to catch Peyton doing this stuff before; she had just laughed it off and made fun of her. But standing in that doorway right then she felt all too self-conscious about how she looked and what she had just seen.

Peyton jumped out of her bed now fully dressed and pulled her best friend out of the room while gesturing to Pete to make himself comfortable.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that." Brooke nodded trying to act cool with it. Peyton continued, "What's wrong? It's like almost 11. Did something happen? You look a mess." She was looking at Brooke worriedly.

At that moment Brooke realized something. Peyton, Nathan, and Haley had their own lives. And they were moving just as fast as ever if not faster. Hers had taken a different course. She couldn't tell them what she had witnessed. It didn't fit into their world anymore. Her drama wasn't a part of it. And, in some way, neither was she.

"Um, you know. Nathan and Haley were at the apartment. I just wanted to get out of there. But it's cool. You've got a nice boy toy in their, go have fun."

"No, Brooke! Come on, you can stay." Peyton pleaded.

"I'm fine. Seriously. I'll see you later." Brooke was already walking towards the stairs. Peyton cursed as she heard her front door slam behind her best friend.

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Brooke closed the door gently behind her, rousing Lucas. "Hey boyfriend," she whispered raspily.

"How'd you get in here?" he asked sleepily.

"Oh you know. Snuck past a few nurses. A lot of crawling." He gave her his trademark smirk.

"Well c'mere." He shifted on the bed giving her room. Brooke climbed into the small hospital bed and cuddled under the blankets. Lucas wrapped his arms around her and smiled contentedly. And Brooke fell asleep in that position, knowing that the next days, months, and even years would be hard, that everything had changed, but that it would all be okay because the guy she loved was saving her, and she was saving him right back.

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A/N- Okay, if anyone still reads this story please review! Tell me what you like and what you don't, and what you want to see more of. Oh, and that was my first Naley scene ever, so tell me what you think even if was crap. Thanks for reading! 


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- Wow, has it been a while or what? I have no idea if anyone who used to read this still will, but I hope you do. And if there are any new readers, Hi! I'm sorry for such a long wait for me to get my crap together, I really suck at this. I'll try to update more frequently (it'd be hard to do it less frequently, wouldn't it?) Enjoy this new chapter, be sure to let me know if its good or bad and what I can improve on.**

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As he switched off the headlights to his car and turned off the ignition Dan let out a long sigh. It had been a long night (week, month) and he desired nothing more than to cry, but if he cried there was no one there to make him feel better. He drove Deb and Nathan away by being himself, Keith was dead because of him, Karen had killed herself because of Keith, and Lucas was heading down the same road. He had left nary a bridge left unburned, which in some ways was his intention.

If he was honest with himself, though, Dan didn't truly know why he was crying. Was it because he was so clearly failing his eldest son? Or was it because he had failed the boys mother? Or was simply that he himself had failed? God knows he was never going to be reelected mayor after this fiasco.

Perhaps a few years ago he would've been appalled at this callous thought in the midst of such an all-consuming tragedy, but currently he was just numb.

After a few moments of steadying himself Dan got out of his expensive har and walked inside. The mayor of Tree Hill didn't need to indulge in such reflective thoughts; he had more important things to deal with. Like how to keep the news about Lucas from getting out. He would have to find a way to deal with that pesky girlfriend of his…

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When Lucas awoke the next morning he experienced a moment of complete confusion. He wasn't in his new bed at Dan's house, nor was he in his old, warm bed in his mother's. Light was pouring in the way he never let it anymore, almost blinding him.

And oh yeah, his arms hurt like hell.

Looking around to find some semblence of an explanation, the events of the previous night came flooding back to him. The knife, the pain, the blood, and finally everything going black and a small reprieve from the hell that had become his life.

He recalled waking up for the first time in the hospital to see Dan and Brooke in his room, one a far more welcome visitor than the other. He remembered Brooke's tears compared with Dan's cruel apathy. And he remembered them leaving and him feeling alone once again, in the dark.

But Brooke came back; Brooke always came back for him. If their was any positive memory in the previous night it was the feeling of security that overcame him when she cuddled next to him. A feeling he hadn't experienced since his mother's suicide.

"Hey, Broody, you're awake," came a familiar voice. He jerked out of his daydream to see a slightly mussed and messy looking Brooke smiling down at him, accompanied by an elderly nurse who began checking his chart.

"You're still here? Don't you have to get to school?" he asked as she leaned down for a kiss. She laughed, a beautiful sound, one he couldn't remember hearing much recently. Things had gotten pretty heavy, and he knew he was to blame for that.

"Its Saturday, doofus. Plus, where else am I going to go?"

"Yeah, I'm great company lately, aren't I?" he said, voice dripping of sarcasm.

"Aww, Broody, you're always subpar company. I just love you in spite of it." The nurse, finished checking on her patient, rolled her eyes and left, but neither of them notived.

"Yeah, you make up in the conversational department for both of us, don't you?" he said cheerily, not even minding the smack on the shoulder he received for his comment. It occurred to him that since she had noticed him his arms had hardly hurt at all.

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Haley woke up to an empty space beside her that morning and immediately feared the worst. Sure, she wasn't exactly sure what the worst was, but the horrors of recent months had taught her to be wary.

She walked slowly out of the bedroom, looking for any sign of her husband. "Nathan? Honey, you here?" she called hopefully as she approached the living room.

"Over here! Come on, I gotta show you something!" Haley breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Nathan's voice and rolled her eyes at his boyish enthusiasm.

"What is it? I thought I made it clear I wasn't interested in your dumb video…" her voice trailed off as she saw what Nathan was hovering over proudly.

A small crib stood next to the doorway with a mobile hanging over it. It was painted white, chipped at the corners, and with no blankets or pillows inside. Despite this, it was perfect.

Haley stared at her husband in wonder, which he misinterpreted. "I know its small, I found it at a yardsale, so it was pretty cheap but I thought it would tide us over for a while, at least until," but he was silenced when Haley leaned in and kissed him passionately.

"So, you like it then?" he asked, grinning ear to ear.

Haley laughed and pulled her husband back into their bedroom.

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Brooke ignored another call from Peyton as she sat in Lucas' hospital room, debating the merits of the Gossip Girl books vs. The Lord of the Rings.

"But you can't _relate_ to Frodo. I don't know about you but I've never had to return a cursed ring to a fiery pit. I _have_ had to find the perfect dress for a party though," Brooke whined during what seemed like the fifth time they'd had the same argument.

"Yeah, somehow I can't quite relate to that though. Please you know I'm right. These books are so frivolous, its like they have no meaning. I mean, check out just the back cover." To punctuate his point Lucas leaned over and and reached for one of the books lying on the table. In doing so Brooke caught sight of his arm, where cuts in various stages of healing littered his forearm.

Brooke stared, transfixed even as Lucas began mockingly reading, until he noticed.

"Brooke? You still with me?"

She finally pulled her glance away and looked at her boyfriend. Your arm…it's just.." she trailed off.

Lucas glanced down and tried to cover the scars with his flimsy hospital gown. "Yeah, but I'm fine, really. We don't have to talk about this."

"Yes we do though. We tried not talking about it, remember? That's how you ended up in here to begin with."

"Yeah, but what happened was just an accident. You know I didn't mean to kill myself, and it won't happen again. Scouts honor." He tried to give her a smile to reassure her, but Brooke just glared back at him.

"Don't do that. Don't try to pretend you're fine when we both know you're not. Sure, it's all fine and dandy to joke, and smile and cuddle, and talk about books, but what happens when I leave? When you go back to Dan's?" Lucas shifted uncomfortably, but Brooke was just getting started. "How do I know you won't just do this again? And what if next time Dan doesn't catch you in time? Well?" she asked desperately.

Brooke stared expectantly at Lucas, who was staring just as intently at his sheets. A long silence followed, until finally Lucas spoke.

"You're right. And I don't know."

Brooke looked down and tried to fight back tears. She really thought that he might have an answer, or some form of reassurance. It was starting to dawn on her that real life wasn't quite so simple. Lucas reached up and cupped her face with his large hand.

"But I do know that I love you. And I know you love me too. Things aren't perfect, or even okay, but for now, that's enough for me. We can work on the rest, I promise we can. One day it'll be okay."

It wasn't really an answer, or reassuring, but somehow it did the job. Brooke smiled a little through the tears that had made it down her cheeks and whispered, "It's enough for me too. Always will be."

Things might never be perfect, but as long as they were to together they would figure it out. Somehow.

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**A/N- As always, reviews are hugely appreciated, I like to know what I'm doing right/wrong, especially after all this time. Have a great day!**


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